Here’s a picture of me with fashion designer Gert-Johan Coetzee and former editor of Heat magazine Melinda Shaw at SA Fashion Week’s launch at Edgars Melrose Arch (I went along to support fellow Land Rover brand ambassador Craig Jacobs, who has items from his Fundudzi label on sale there). Can you see how I’m standing at a bit of an angle and my left foot looks a bit funny? That’s because despite the fact that I’m smiling, my feet are in total, but total agony. My soles were burning; I might as well have just attempted a Tony Robbins firewalk.
I can draw three points from this:
- I am definitely missing a second x chromosome
- I was an alien species at a function where everyone else wore insanely high heels – even one or two of the men (see below)
- On the plus side, I don’t have to worry about back pain caused by heels, because I can’t wear them long enough
Here’s a picture of a man wearing insanely high heels (apologies for the blurriness):
I doff my metaphorical cap to him; there is no way I could ever wear shoes like that. The fact that even a short period of walking or standing in heels is now unbearably painful means I probably can’t wear heels period. Some women inject Botox in their feet to stop the pain from wearing heels – a so-called Loub job – but I’m not sure I’m up for that.
I am doomed, it seems, to a lifetime of sensible shoes. But possibly less back pain. Sigh.